To my sick friend
Tuesday, September 30, 2008

To Efa,
Well another 2 more days, hari raya is coming n my friend Efa is sick, she is having a flu. Well tis post is to cheer her up n to motivate her...Well don`t give up. Don`t forget to eat the medicine. Hope u will recover soon

From
EmO_ShaDowZ

ShadowZ signing out
12:52 AM


Hoping for forgiveness

Well, lately I have been making alot of mistake n wrongdoing to my friend...
I would like to say sorry to everyone for my wrongdong n mistake.. Well as a human being, u knw we always make mistake. I am nt a god or a prophet which did nt make mistake..
Well I would like to ask for forgiveness to my oldest friend cause I accidentally let go of his secret. Well it wasn`t my intention to say it, it juz tat I forget or maybe misheard abt the the secret. I knw u felt ashamed, but I felt worst. Even wen the tyme u called me, I could nt do anything but to keep quiet. I kept quiet, nt because of being rude, I kept quiet because I felt wrong n guilty for my wrong doing. But still, I kept ur deepest darkest secret. Seriously I admit my mistake. I didn`t mean to hurt my friend, but wat can I do, it is already happen. Right nw, I feel ashamed n guilty to even to talk n meet him, right nw feeling paisey(ashamed). Well I duuno if u were to read tis, but I hope u forgive me. If u don`t, I could nt do anything but to accept the fact...

Well to others, If I did anything wrong, hope u forgive me. I am a human after all..

ShadowZ signing out
12:18 AM


Fiqah Birthday

Well today is Nurafiqah Bte Roslie, well she had been helping me in a lot of ways. Mostly in emotional ways..There is a lot of people who help me, but Fiqah had been wif me through thick n thin of my prob... Well eventhough we broke up,still she help me.Well I would like to say happy birthday to her..Happy 18 Birthday
Smile always

ShadowZ signing out
12:05 AM


29/09/08: Going to Alexandra Hospital
Monday, September 29, 2008

Well, today I went to Alexandra Hospital for my check up...Recently I had a check up at CMPB n they refer me to Alexandra Hospital. They said tat my heart beat is abnormal...Well I dunno wat they mean by tat.. So, took bus 61 to Alexandra Hospital. It took quite sometyme, it travel frm Bukit Batok using Bukit Timah rd den travel to Holland Rd, I felt very bored n wanted to sleep, well, I can`t because I was nervous n scared tat I miss the stop.. In my mind, I kept tinking, whether I got heart disease or wat cause I need to refer to hospital...

Reach dere early, reach ard 8plus going to 9, my appointment suppose to be at 9.55am. The nurses ask me to remove my shirt cause the doctor wanted to scan my heart using the sonar ultrasound..It took quite sometyme as need to wait for the doctor n apply the cream at my heart area...Well after the check, the doctor said I am fine, my heart beat is normal, maybe tat tyme due to stress tats y my heart beat is abnormal... Well, atleast I felt relief after hearing tat...

ShadowZ signing out
11:00 PM


My EmO Friend
Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Well,

Tis post is for Efa....

Well no matter how sad u re.. Do remember tat the brothers n sisters of Keat Hong is still dere for u no matter wat happen... U may be heart broken right nw... Don`t be shy to talk to us... We will lend our shoulder to u....
Well do stay smiling always even wen u read tis post.... Its may not be much
But remember, we will try to be dere for u

P.S: Efa read tis n tink of the fun moment we all have at Keat Hong(Don`t forget to smile)

Signing Off
EmO_ShaDowZ

ShadowZ signing out
5:30 PM


On Hafiz Bday 23/09/08

Hey its Hafiz Y bday yesterday...Well Munirah plan a surprise for him...Well its great.. We all were suppose to meet at habourfront mrt by 5..Well I n Fiqah came early cause need to pass game to her...We reach dere by 4 plus... We waste our tyme by window shopping... Arnd 5 plus, we meet Mun n some of them....After meeting some of them, we went to the rooftop to plan wat we re going to do..... Arnd 6 plus...wen to buy food...By the we reach back at the rooftop is like 7 plus..

We gather n thought of suprising Hafiz, he went to buy cigarette... We ate our food while waiting for him... Well I bought a Fish Blackpepper Claypot.. Quite nice..

He came, well we thought of giving him the birthday cake, well some of our friend wen to buy food...So its a good manner for everyone to arrive, den we can surprise him wif the cake...
Everyone reach n we surprise him wif the cake... cut,ate n gave him present..
Well Fiqah(Frabbit), Ratna(Ratata) n I shared money to buy him a Total Nike slipper...hehe
Well its my guess of buying him a slipper n the size of his leg...Ratna aslo did thought of buying for him a slipper.. Atlast we 3 share together to give him the slipper...

Well I did manage to sabo The Birthday boy by wiping the cake at his face...haha(well a thought of making like a sergent line, eventually the cake drips..hehe) Well I also got a surprise, eventhought Fiqah is my ex...I did promise her to buy a bear for her bday...well I didnt manage to buy for her the bear tat she want...Instead I gave her 3 present... Well I guess, she will write in her blog... I will nt tell.. She also gave me me a cool Chelsea Cap...its a champions league edition.. Well its great...Tats how I face my day for yesterday..

Well,
Signing Off
EmO_ShaDowZ

ShadowZ signing out
1:38 PM


Me...Mylyfe...Myself
Saturday, September 20, 2008

Hey..maybe u guys felt tat I am inmatured due to my recent post...Well talking abt family prob,friends n so on.... Well to tell the truth..I felt tat people don`t understand my feeling n wat my needs....Yes...I may not tell wat I feel or wat I want...As normal human, we wear mask.. We may be alone at times n said u juz need ur tyme alone...but deep inside, I feel sad or or alone... Even my own family don`t understand wat I felt... I am not trying to talk bad abt my family or friends... But tis is the fact...juz tat u all juz didn`t notice wat I felt....I dunno, if I were to be dead... will I still be happy...Maybe not... Sometimes I cried wen I am alone or think abt the past things... Its not tat I am a cry baby...Wat I mean I will juz wept n not cry in massive.. Well wat can I do... I juz have to live wif it...well will nt type tat much on tis post...Don`t want to hurt anybody feelings....

Signing Off
EmO_ShaDowZ

ShadowZ signing out
1:54 PM


I am bored n frustated of everything

Well start my day like normal.... Clean the kitchen...
Seriously I felt bored cleaning the house... I felt like I am a girl.... Seriously felt idiotic...
Clean kitchen, hall n sometimes have to cook.... Haiz... I aggitated by my mom.. Yes as a son, we have to clean the house.. tat I knw. But U as a reader...how does it felt wen u have to do work at home while ur brother n sister(wat I mean ur younger sibling) is working outside.. First its my fault cause I did not find a job..Second do u tink its fair tat wen u were in secondary 4... U can`t work due to ur study...I can say I was a slower student, so I buck up by going to a lot of classes.. I got tution,class remedial.. It was stressing for me but I manage to grow through it...My point is tat my brother is going through his sec 4 lyfe n he had stayed back in sec 3 bfore... But nw I can say tat he is nt studying right nw...He is busily working n my mom is like nt bother abt my brother result...Wen I look at my brother mid-year result, I can say tat he failed badly.. Can`t even get a 10 point to make through sec 5... I can say, my mid year is also quite bad, I manage to get 12 point...I studied hard, n manage to pull through my `N` level... Well my so called mission, if I were to fail, I must fail wif dignity..wat I mean is tat,if i were to fail,I must fail wif a 100% effort been put on the thing tat I fail..I don`t want to fail juz like tat... My mom is not doing anything.. I knw my family had financial prob, but at least tink abt the future..The future of my brother.. He had been socialise wif bad company, i knw his secret...But I didn`t even tell my mom abt it....He`s been working quite often lately...(I dunno if he had been working or nt...) My main point on tis post is tat,If he work tat much, might as well he sleep dere n don`t come home.. I have to clean everybody S***T....My grandma always said/scold me tat we, my family like to juz leave the dish without washing it....Well..I can say,I always wash the stupid dishes after I ate...i didn`t wash the dish wen everybody start to juz leave the dish at the sink....Wen the dish pile up, the person who is going to wash is my grandma n me n sometimes my grandpa.. I knw part of my ego is making me feel angry...But u try to see other family. Most of them were train to wash their dish after eating n not juz leaving it for other to wash it...Even the mattress, i clear my own mattress wen I wake up...Well for my brothers, I have to clean for them... Its stressing to face the same situation everyday...I knw I am the eldest amng my brothers, but still its like, I do nt gain any respect...I onli gain respect wen I will start shouting at them... For my second bro..Tat will be a difficult situation.. I have to either give up or juz forget abt it... For my sec bro, I can`t use my shout anymore cause it will nt work... Sometimes I juz wanna give a jab or two... But I will get more severe beating frm my mom n dad...Well I use to beat my sec brother wen he annoyed me, but nw I am nt beating him anymore cause I am more civilise n I do respect him as he is a growing teen..Now,if he were to annoy me, I will juz ignore him or go away...Sometime my brother do disrespect my grandpa n me...But to my mom n sometimes grandma it a joke... My brother will sometimes annoy me or make my grandpa angry... Well if it were me last tyme...i will be beaten by my dad..I still remember, wen I was a small kid. Wen we walk infront of n adult, we have to bent down abit as a show of respect...I could still remember I was scold for nt doing tat...Its is sad...Everything tat i was scold bfore is nw a no use to my brother... My dad is nw working hard, so he can`t be looking after everything in the family..den wat is the use of a mother.. I am nt disrespecting my mom or others...Its juz tat as a mom... do confront ur child behaviour n ways...
Hmm..there is a lot of thing tat I wanted to say...But I guess, I will stop here.... Will type more post soon

Signing Off
EmO_ShaDowZ

ShadowZ signing out
12:50 PM


18 sept 2008/outing post

Hey..back wif more post...
On 18 sept, wen out wif my classmate...Well, its great. I was suppose to be late due to some issue..Well not onli me, Dayah n Zam was late also. Well reach dere arnd 5 plus, took some photo, walk through the bazaar n reach at tis restaurant arnd 6..( sorry got no photo )
We reach at the restaurant early, our break-fast is arnd 7 plus... so waited for Sofie,Hafiz n Fathu....While waiting, we order our meals...

Arnd 630,Fathu came. Fathu said tat he n Sofie were riding along side each other..Den at Dairy Farm, he lost sight of Sofie n Hafiz... According to Fathu, he was riding at lower speed... Eventually, Sofie was caught in a traffic. Tat is y they were left out.

Arnd 645. Sofie called...He said tat he n Hafiz is lost....So I have to meet Sofie n Hafiz at the traffic juction which is going towards Joo Chiat complex..Met Hafiz n Sofie arnd 7 plus, luckily there is a shop nerby where I am waiting for them.. Bought a redbull, while I was abt to break-fast, I saw them... We head towards the restaurant....Ate there...I bought a Pataya Fried Rice....The Pataya Friend Rice is quite massive, wat I mean is tat the Pataya Fried Rice is quite a lot... I was full eating juz tat.....After we ate, we went to the bazaar n den to City Plaza( I tink so, tats wat it is called)We were juz walking ard, after tat wen to beside the mrt train station....I am not sure wat it is called... We took picture n chat over dere.. We left arnd 9 or 10 plus....I am nt sure....Tats all tat happen...I manage to enjoy it...Well its great.^_^

ShadowZ signing out
12:05 PM


Lately my PM on MSN is currently like emo or sad.
Friday, September 19, 2008

Hey guys.... Lately my PM on MSN is currently like emo or sad. Well its nothing, I hope u guys don`t take it too hard... Well its not abt u all, its juz abt me... I hate myself for the changes in me.. I am not like the old me, I have changed. I become more fragile and I am easily get fed up very fast..
My emotional is mostly mix up wif PAIN, INSECURE, COLD, BITTERNESS AND A BIT OF HAPPINESS..
Well tats all I am going to say...
GTG

Signing Off
EmO_ShAdowZ

ShadowZ signing out
6:53 PM


My randomness again
Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hmm....How to start... My randomness... I was getting ready for the break-fast... Was scooping the rice wen out of sudden, the girl who I admire which I gave a nickname Milo suddenly appear in my mind.( I didn`t knw her name, so call her Milo cause she look sweet n sometimes I mixed up wif her sister cause they`re twins.) I had tis feeling tat she is sad...but I dunno whether it is for real or wat... Seriously it is funny, out of the blue, she came in my mind n its like I manage to surpress her feeling eventhough I dunno wat she felt tat point of tyme..

Tis is part of my weird n randomness... Well I got nothing much to say...
Everyday is like normal day....wake up clean house, play game n chat...tats all.

Signing Off
EmO_ShaDoWz

ShadowZ signing out
1:22 AM


Relating to yesterday post
Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I want to sing a HAPPY DEATH DAY SONG TO ME

HAPPY DEATH DAY TO ME, HAPPY DEATH DAY TO ME

HAPPY DEATH DAY TO ME, HAPPY DEATH DAY TO ME

HAPPY DEATH DAY TO ME.....!!!!

I am not feeling well...just ignore tis post if u tink I am insane.
Maybe I am going insane soon..
Muahaha

sIgNiNg oFF
EmO_ShAdoWZ

ShadowZ signing out
2:25 PM


My Birthday ??? Hmm
Tuesday, September 16, 2008

1.42pm


Today is my bday and I don`t feel anything special.... I don`t even feel tat today is my birthday..

Anyway friends, THANKS for the wishes...It realli mean much for me...Friends realli bright my day...

The first thing wen I woke up was my mom ordering me to wipe the window... I could juz keep
quiet n do the cleaning... Not only tat, I have to do some of the chores like everyday...

I am bored right now...Its 1.45pm n I want to go out, but nobody to go with....

Haiz.... Wat a dull day...seriously.... How I wish I had a work but not house chores, so I can release some tension n earn money as well... Now I am bankrupt. If I want to go out,hmm, need money definitely. If I'am nt going out, well its going to be very very bored...
Well, I will stop my lame chattering.... Maybe I will continue at night....See if there is any changes...


10.48pm


I am back wif more lame chattering....juz came back from Farhan house...


Anyway let me continue my day...hmm..any changes?


I can say there is few changes.


Let start wif the chores, need to clean the house...bla..bla..bla


den at abt 5 plus, need to buy cake for myself...Need to go to LOT 1 to buy the cake.


My grandma sponsor the cake....tats great...she gave me $60..its for the cake n the rest its for me...But my mom said to me buy the cake frm Royal..She said it look nice..For me it look like a marble cake....cause it is layer after layer..strawberry layer..


The cake itself cost abt like $31 n it is nt tat huge like the normal cake...


Wat to do...juz buy.. Anyway tis is the cake...Onli got no number 1,words n strawberries...
Juz a plain cake wif some frost in the middle n cherries.


















Back to lame chattering... bought the cake, the auntie gave me a brownies as a present.. She asked me,who is tis cake for..so I said its for me...She keep repeating happy bday...I was smiling non-stop.I guess, I blush a bit. The auntie said it loud...some people was looking at me...Paid n said thank u den quickly left the scene....
Met my grandma who went dentist den we head home..
We break - fast, my mom juz cook soup instead of delightful delicacy which everyone had on the their bday..Tat tyme on my mom bday, she had tis yummy potato ball which have meat inside it... but for me juz a soap. It consist of potato cube, the tofu n egg...juz tat..

After eating, I went to my friend house to help him carry some stuff cause he is shifting to other house... He move from Bukit Panjang to Woodland...Its quite tiring because of the refrigerator which is very heavy..Well tats how I celebrate my bday....

but....

People once again, I want to wish thanks for the wishes....Really appreciate..
Cheers for the wishes. Tats all I going to say...
Goodnight,want to rilex my ache body n hand..
Want to apply lotion to the cut at my hand..
Night

Signing Off
EMo SHaDowZ

HAPPY DEATH DAY FOR ME..YEAH T_T

ShadowZ signing out
1:38 AM


Continue on my Screwed Day
Wednesday, September 10, 2008

HEY....!!!!



Firstly I would like to thank my friends for their moral suport...

Guys ur great...Thanks again for the concern.... ^_^



Eventhough today my days seems dark...My fren brought the light to me in many ways

ShadowZ signing out
10:40 PM


My Bloody Screwed Day

Today suppose to be my End Of Year Exam...I screwed up my day by waking up late...
I manage to wake up for my fasting breakfast, den I continue study for my exam. I slept quite late tats y I was a little tired.I slept ard 3 plus. Wen I continue my study after the fasting breakfast, I eventually fell asleep while studying.. I woke up arnd 9 plus. How I wish I can shout/type vulgariteis....
I felt really sad..study hard n eventually wasted juz like tat. Maybe its not my day today.
I can`t turn back tyme...I wish I have the power to turn back tyme.

So now I have to look on the bright side, must be optimistic... I have the knowledge of the subject, so wen I were to stay back, atleast I knw wat to do...Yeah....Onli juz another half a year to stay back for tat subject....Eventhough its a waste of tyme..

Anyway my bday is coming, I don`t tink I am going to celebrate due to tis exam. I have no mood to celebrate my bday tis year....I can say, I seldom celebrate my bday. So I got a hang of it already...

Goodluck to my classmate for the NMS paper...
Tis paper is a must to go...
I don`t want to repeat 2 module....I must pass my NMS hopefully...
N tis tyme,I dun`t want to study tat late....

ShadowZ signing out
11:25 AM

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