Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there

Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not care
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself

And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know
If you still care don't ever let me know

Today i had a short dream. I dream of her, me, a guy and a lady. The dream was quick. Dream of me, her and this guy at the back seat. At first she lay on my shoulder but change and lay on the guy chest instead. I was shock and sulk. Suddenly the lady who is a driver said tat is her husband and i woke up suddenly

January 2018 is really coming fast. It feels like yesterday it was 2017 and here i am still feeling despair and i cant find/stand on my ground. 2017 memories still hunt me with each stab going deeper then the previous. I dont know. I wish i have the answer to every of my problem. I did manage to make a stand but it seems like my base was just a pile of shit and i crumble easily. I did dug my own grave but i cant seem to find my way out of it. My family did save me, pull me from the hole but i cant find common ground. There are alot of hatred, love and things in my mind. I still cant seem to put it to any words to let off what i am feeling.

Que Allah Me Alivie